Just bike...

I haven't touched my bike for almost one month. It was totally covered with dust and you will feel quite gloomy when you look at it. I haven't biked to all the corners of Phnom Penh yet, and I don't think I will be able to do it because whenever I bike, I feel like going to places I am familiar with and dare not go beyond that boundary.

This morning I got up at 5:30 am and suddenly thought of going biking instead of going swimming which I have planned for since last week. I haven't swum for two weeks either. Really, I have been getting lazy with exercising when I have to do them alone. 

The views around the riverside area are always the most inviting which inspire me to go there whenever I go biking on my own. The sunshine is warm; the wind is fresh; the grass is green...

There are many things floating up in memories...

All about feelings...

I hate these feelings, the feeling of not being able to find someone to talk to when I wish to release my feelings, the feeling of being afraid that the one(s) I wish to talk to does not want to talk to me, the feeling of being lonely although many people are around me.

These are such fucking feelings that I wish to avoid from having and that I wish to eliminate when I start to have them. But I cannot do anything about it because it’s just all about my personality that I need someone to talk to when I am not happy. When I am rejected esp by the person I wish to talk to most, the feeling will be doubled.

I am sensitive and emotional. Once I am rejected once or at most twice, I will feel discouraged to ask for it again. It might be partly because I am angry with the person, but it’s mainly because I don’t want to add disappointment to my current dump feeling. It’ll simply end up with depression.

Am I not strong enough to be alone?

How I define 'strong'...

I would define a strong person as not being physically muscular but emotionally steady and joyful at all times regardless of whatsoever happening to him.


He can still wear a pleasant smile on his face although his heart is bleeding.

He can enjoy the hardship with which he is dealing with hope and courage.

He can view blames as advice, failure as lesson, and hardship as development.

He can forgive and forget how hurt he suffered and lead a new life.

How many of us are strong? How many of us can do so?

We are not strong enough to do everything by our own. We cannot smile when we are down. We complain more or less when we encounter hardship and can be easily discouraged to walk on. We are sad when we are blamed because we never consider those blames are advice people are giving to us though in an unpleasant way. We fear of failure and don't want to try again because we don't want to be disappointed for the second time and especially we don't want to lose face. We fear of hardship and wish to do any routine jobs that are easy and comfortable. We want development in our skills and spirit, but we are afraid of being suffered from the difficulty after we decide to step out of the soft pillows we are lying on. We feel unfair to forgive and forget someone who used to do ills to us. As long as we feel like taking revenge, we will lead a life of sorrows and depression. Learn to forgive people or at least to forget that there used to be someone who hurt us. Open ourselves to the beautiful world again. There is always a colorful rainbow and fresh air after the rain.

Outing with Family

I love my family!

This is a special month and a special year because my family ate out to celebrate Mother's Day. We did it one day in advance (on Saturday). I proposed that we go to Pizza Company at Sorya Shopping Center. I wished to take my Mum to Sorya because she has never been there before since its establishment. Meng was not yet back from Singapore, so there were only four of us. However, I could see that she was very happy after dining. We did have a great time and planned to have another time after Meng was back. Plan was satisfactorily carried out. Meng came back on 16th and we had another good time with the existence of all family members at Pizza Company Riverside last Saturday.

It was just a start to encourage my Mum to go out more. This year I have brought to her to Chamkar Pring Dream Park, and now to Pizza Company at Sorya Center and River, and I will take her to other places, though not far from Phnom Penh. I am thinking of taking her to Koh Dach. I hope this will succeed soon. ^^

Mum and Dad at Chamkar Pring

Dine out at Pizza Company Riverside

Recent Emotional Issue

I went to Central Market with Lina this evening after a short reunion with Nith and Minea. It’s been for many years I haven’t been to the market. Roughly counted, it should have been around 10 years. On the first day of this Khmer New Year, I went to Wat Phnom to welcome the new angel with my friends. It must be also so surprising to tell people that I haven’t been there for approximately 10 years either. Am I a Phnom Penh-er? But I have never been to and haven’t been to many places for ages in Phnom Penh. This should be very surprising unbelievable when people know this. There are many things else and many places else I have never been around Cambodia. Only started from last year, I started walking around the riverside in front of the Royal Palace. Never before have I enjoyed walking and eating out with friends. Everything seems to have started from last year—the year of revolution.

Perhaps I have stayed at home so much rather than going out in the past, so recently when I am rather financially independent, I wish to go to wherever I can, do whatever I’ve dreamed of and wish, eat whatever I have feel like…I wish I could enjoy this alone, but I can’t. I don’t like being alone in whatever I do. I wish to do them with friends or loved one; however, no one is at all times free to fulfill my desires. I wish I could learn to enjoy independently. Once I could learn it, I would not have to bother people. I wish I could travel alone so that I wouldn’t have to depend on people’s decisions. Rather, I would be able to go wherever I wished and to do whatever I wanted. It gives me bad feelings when my requests are turned down. Except for some cases, I rarely turn down people’s requests to me because I’m too weak and too dependent to reject ones. Only one accompany will just be enough to satisfy me.

Again, I wish I could be more independent—to be able to enjoy though alone. The new wish for the new year!

What's on my mind?

I am OBSESSED with so many things, things that I cannot control myself not to think of . I cannot describe myself as being bothered because I feel happy to think of them; however, when they come to me and stay in my mind every sec like this, I feel almost unbearable. I hope I know how to manage them well and keep myself in the best condition to do other things simultaneously.

I think I really have to swear it again. Cross my heart! I believe I can do it and must do it.

Memories around Trip to Koh Dach

Biking is the most environmental friendly way of travelling. It might allow you to go as far as across from one country to another with low cost and extreme joys.

I am glad that I have been to Koh Dach and it’s even more delightful when I can travel on a bike. Certainly, it takes time to do it and is exhausting. However, nothing is better than travelling with a friend and enjoying the country views and fresh air.

On 24.03.12 Saturday morning, we left home at 6:30. Along the way to the port to Koh Dach, we had breakfast in a small family-owned canteen. It was quite a long distance between Chroychangva Bridge and the port. The port is located in a small road after you turned right into the gateway of a Chinese Temple (Fu De Miao) along

National Road

6A. For bike, one person is charged 1000 Riels. No longer than 15 minutes, the ferry deported at the tip of Koh Dach. Instead of riding directly toward Koh Dach, we crossed the bridge of Koh Oknha Tey and toured around the island for the whole morning.

Koh Oknha Tey

People on this island earn living by growing various plants. I could find fields of taro plantation, corn plantation, banana trees, papaya trees, and other plantations. Houses are located separately one from the other and within each of them there were always some trees and plants such as coconut or mango trees. Horses and cows seemed to be their means of transportation in carrying food stuff and ploughing the fields. We went around the island and stopped by here and there to take pictures, to look at the plantations, and to relax. It was a great morning!

At 11:00am we crossed the bridge back to the intersection. Instead of finding a place nearby to have lunch, we decided to head to Koh Dach Beach. Although the weather was quite gloomy the whole morning, the sun shone brightly up above our head while we had to take a round an hour to bike from the bridge to the beach. I was glad that I was perfectly protected from sunburn.

Koh Dach Beach

We met a little girl halfway to the beach. She was one of the vendors there and offered to guide us all the way to the destination. At around 12:10pm, we finally arrived at the entrance. Standing from the distance high above from the ground, we could see an amazing view of the beach. Around five lines of bamboos plates were well arranged to allow motorbikes and bikes to ride on conveniently from the high ground toward the riverbank. We could see many small huts laying both at the riverbank and a little bit far into the river. The sand was incredibly white although it was not as white as that we find at seashore.

A set meal including a roasted chicken and rice in total costs $10 after bargaining. We did not buy the set meal from the vendor there. It is too much for two people to eat. Instead, we bought various snacks for lunch. We had the food, played with the water, chatted, and enjoyed the great view of the river and cool fresh air after a whole morning cycling. The environment was so relaxing and peaceful. Not many people were there on the day. There are more people going on Sundays and holidays, according to the vendor. We left the place at 3pm unwillingly. We took another road aside from the one we came from. After around more than half-an-hour riding, we went pass a port going to Bak Kheng. We decided to choose the detour to go back the mainland and we were going to Bak Kheng, another unplanned destination of the day.

It made me more exhausted on the way back because my bike had some problems. I am excited to have a whole day of cycling and relaxing at the seaside-like riverbank although my legs and shoulders almost split off from my body.

I am planning to take my family there once in the nearest future.

Readers, you haven’t known Koh Dach, have you? Why not try out one day?