Look back at 2012 and New Year Resolutions for 2013

There is one thing I have wanted to do very much on this day (31.12.2012), yet it’s coming to its end soon in another three hours. That’s the only thing I regret that I don’t and cannot do in 2012. Whether or not it’s possible to happen in the future, it’s not up to my decision alone. Truly, let’s fate and destiny decide.

Looking back at this nearly-ended year, there have been considerable changes and almost as many changes as I had in 2011. Resulted from Nov 2011, I had a very happy first quarter of 2012. It was a period of joy, sweetness and success. The second quarter was so-so; third quarter getting worse; and last quarter down in the valley and just starting to climb up again in Dec. If I draw a line graph of how much I liked about each month or how happy I was, my graph should have been like this:

I am glad that I have taken up swimming and inline skating although I am still a beginner. At least I tried sth new this year. Thanks for inspirations.

I went to Kep (Nataya Resort) in Jan; Koh Dach in Mar; Sihanouk Ville in Jul; Bokor Mountain in Aug; Buddha Center in Kandal in Sep; Prasith Mountain in Oct and again in Dec; Oudong Mountain in Dec. I have travelled much more than before, and I love those experiences so much.

I quit the job at the Embassy and now work for a private company with its headquarter based in Hong Kong. I am glad that I am here doing the things I have wished for and learning things I have never learned of. In the nearest future, I am not thinking of moving elsewhere again.

My elder brother is now in France to pursue his master degree. He left in Sep. Dad is now retired, so he is home with Mum. At least Mum still has Dad when the two sons are at overseas and the daughter rarely stays at home. I wish my Mum was easy-going and loved herself more. I wish I were better at cheering her up.

As of this term, I have totally completed seven papers of CAT assuming that I pass the one in this coming Jan’s final exam. The grades I received in 2012 were quite satisfying for FA2, MA2 and FFA except for FAB which I just took on last Saturday. It was as bad as expected.

Here comes the New Year Resolutions.

I will be committed to learn swimming better. If possible, I might do some inline skating alone without my brother.

Regarding the new job, I am really committed to it. I will put all my effort in it during working hours. Since I claim that my learning style is to ask and answer questions, I will try to ask as many questions as possible to myself or my immediate supervisor. At my free time, I will read materials relating to constructions, accounting standards, taxation and any news which tell me what’s going on around here. At the same time, since the last two papers of CAT program are the hardest ones which require more reading and analysis, I will also have to spare lots of time to devote to them. It’s really hard and boring to read and read, yet it’s one of the things I really have to do in order to be that someone whom everyone will look up to. Really, it’s not so easy to reach there, but what I can do is to do it and see if I can get there. 

While spending so much time on reading for work and study, I guess I will have less time for my family again. Well, I will at least be with my Mum and Dad half-half day during holidays and weekends. Help do some household chores. Talking about this, my room is quite messy right now. :D

If you ask me where I want to go for travelling in the coming year, I will say that I want to go almost everywhere both in and outside the country. I really love travelling, either adventurous like trekking in the forest or on the mountains or luxurious like staying in boutique hotels and doing shopping overseas. At the time being, I do love travelling that does not cost much but fun, like going somewhere I can simply see the natural views of the mountains, rivers, trees, flowers, and the likes. Most importantly, I wish to find someone who appreciates the same thing and be there and always with me, physically or by soul.

I have spent one hour writing this post. Time is running down to two hours remaining. People are counting down everywhere. Every year I count down at home. Remember last year I was in front of FB and waiting for posting wishes when the clock stroke 0:00am. There is one thing more special than last year. I am counting down not only for the coming of year 2013, but I am counting down to celebrate the birthday of my dearest Mum! I gave her a surprising birthday cake after coming back from work. This is the first time I have celebrated her birthday. There will be more coming up next next year. I love to see her smile, and it is the biggest gift I received in this year end. I wish her good health, joy and happiness.

Dear readers, if you haven’t finished your last year resolutions, put them back on the list and add more. Yet, there are things that action is better than word. Do them now or you will regret next year end. Wish you all the best and happy New Year 2013.

What travel makes me feel...

Trip to Udong Mountain, the third trip I went by car or bus in year 2012! Actually this is a year in which I have traveled a lot more than ever both short and long distances by any means of transportation. I love year 2012 and it signifies a great start of my wish of traveling. Thanks to those who have brought me to places where all are my first times to be there. I feel that I am so minute and limited, just like a frog in a well and can see only the sky with the size of a circle. The world is actually incredibly so wide and border-less where I cannot explore all throughout my whole life.

I love the feeling of exhaustion after traveling, the hurt of muscles after long-distance walking, biking or trekking, the memories I can gather with people I travel with, the unexpected goods though along with the unwanted bads…

There is a wish that I have wished for, stopped myself from wishing for, but still somehow wish for no matter what. It’s there and still irreplaceable whenever I travel on the same roads and see the same views…

Buy sth to eat before climbing the mountain

Half way...

The pagoda

From the top of the mountain

View from half way

Arrived at the top ^^

Concluding end of the month

Do you believe in superstitions, horoscopes or fortune-telling? Well, I believe that everything has been destined, but I was not superstitious enough to believe that futures can be foreseen. I experienced these three things in the same month which foretold me the same thing, and it somehow came true.

I have never believed what that white dot on the ring-finger and the accident on it can tell me the thing; I have never felt that a horoscope really tells my story; I have never touched by the words of a fortune-teller; only until what I experienced in this November.

The white dot was there for quite long. As long as it was there, nothing had happened, and I was quite happy with what I was having. Until it came further out and until I had an accident and injured solely that finger, I had to cut off the part of the nail with that white dot. Since then, my feelings were getting worse. Was I so superstitious that I made myself feel bad or was it the other way round? At the same time, someone read a horoscope text of mine on Nov 12. The horoscope was published weekly for Nov 9 – 15. It read that the waterfall that once had water flowing is now dry…What does it tell me? I was trying to interpret and related it to what had happened. There were some correlations. I have followed all the four horoscopes of Nov. They are really telling my stories.

Whether they can foretell or future can be foreseen, I believe that what is destined to happen on me will actually happen on me. It is a lesson which I am destined to face up with and learn to stand back on my feet no matter how hard it is. My soul is weak, but I will make it stronger from time to time with every hardship I am destined to endure and pass through. I believe that I am destined to receive what I am seen to be worth for with the hard work, love and time I have put on it.

Blog Privacy -- CANCELLED

Dear Visitors and Readers,

I have decided to take back my decision in privatising my blog as I cannot find a valid reason to do so. I love to write and it helps improve my critical thinking and writing ability.

I will continue writing whatever topics influencing me.

Regards,
Leng

Something Behind That

What do you see in this picture? ‘It’s rain.’ You may answer. Is it simply rain? ‘Why not?!’ Certainly, it is, but only for you. For someone else, it is more than just rain. That’s when we come to define a thing with our own experiences.

A thing is more than what it naturally is, and how it exists in people’s mind varies depending on the unique or sometimes shared experiences of people.

Rain is not only a natural phenomenon but a precious gift from the God for those people who have been suffering from drought. On the other hand, for those whose house was blown away by a storm and whose loved ones died in a flood will find rain a threat or an inducement of sad memory.

Similarly, rain can associate with romance. Some people have described rain being a symbol of romance because loving couples hug to give warmth to each other; they walk under one umbrella under the rain or so. From their view, rain is sweet and wonderful. Some people might, conversely, describe rain as a symbol of darkness, loneliness and sadness because parted couples are no longer hugging each other. They feel cold inside and it makes them feel sick and helpless.

Every single thing has its concrete meaning, but for different people it symbolizes something else which is not known to others besides themselves. Even a single leave can make you feel sad or happy because there is an untold story behind it.

Blog Privacy

Dear Visitors,

I have been writing articles in this blog for quite some times. Only in two week's time, I have been here writing things for 4 years. There have been more than 40,000 page views since I put the view counter two years ago. It is a stunning number for me. There are more than 100 views every single day.

Yet, for some reasons, I wish to turn the privacy of the blog to 'PRIVATE' effective from the end of November. I am not sure if there are followers who have been following my updates. If there is, please accept my apology. I may come back to be a blogger again some day.

Thank followers and visitors for your support. You have given me motivation to write to some degree.

Best wishes

Bookworm (Jocelyn)

New Job, New Challenges

Third place! It's the third place I have been working at in merely one year and a half. This new job started in October, and I don't expect to leave within the next few years since the environment here is quite acceptable and have great opportunities for my development. I plan to settle here and adhere to my career plan.

I was glad that I got a job soon after I graduated from one of my universities and learned a lot from the first workplace. I liked everyone as well as the work there. However, with the interest to learn about an embassy's accounting, I quit the first job and started my exploration at the second place. It was a great exploration. I have learned a lot from there too. It was a great opportunity of course. After staying there for one year, I am glad that I have come back to the private sector and started to follow my career plan with the new greatly energetic work team here.

I alert myself to work hard at this place and never again search vacancies on websites within the next two years. I am satisfied with the working environment here and wish to develop myself together with the growing of the company.

Wish I am blessed with the best of luck. ^^

Biking Project: My Bikeprint on Every Road in Phnom Penh City

It's not out of a sudden that I come up with this idea. My first and original intention of biking was to explore Phnom Penh on my own in the most environmental-friendly way. However, it has somewhat been altered which I didn't expect to, but overall I have appreciated it. Now my original intention has emerged again, and I will realize it no matter what.

Phnom Penh is not too big to be explored by riding a bike. The total land area of the city is 678.46 squared km which is divided into 8 districts of similar sizes. However, I cannot go through every road in one time of biking. Hence, I decide to draw up a master plan for my biking project. Here is a summary of the plan.

Intention: There are three goals of this project:
- First goal is to bike on every road in Phnom Penh City.
- Second goal is to familiarize myself with how one road leads to another road.
- Third goal is to take note of renowned and significant buildings or areas where I see during my bike trip.

Destination: On the map, I will start cancelling out the roads I have been traveling on and are very familiar with. I will leave them as a concluding part of the project though. Among the 8 districts, Chamkarmorn, Daun Penh and 7 Makara should be my most familiar areas. I think I shall cancel quite a lot of roads in these areas.

Duration: I think I will not take quite long for this project. I will complete it within three months.

Frequency: This project will be carried out at least once in a week in a two-hour biking duration each time.

Report: Each time of my exploration will be noted down and will be posted in this blog for records.

It does need strong commitment to carry out this project. However, I determine to stick to it no matter what. In addition to commitment, I might also need courage to go around every small roads in the city where might be too quiet to go in.

Let's see if and when I complete it. ^^

Note: This plan might not be carried out in this October.

How to deal with unsatisfactory situations in a LOVE relationship?

Preface

*************

LOVE starts with a special feeling you have toward an opposite sex. He/She is someone who can make you happy especially when you are down; who can give you a secure and warm feeling; whom you think of from time to time; whom you feel like staying close to; and whom you want to build your future with. These are temporary feelings which may disappear after a period of time depending on whether he/she is your true love.

People have different ways of thinking and handling of love. What I am writing here is not research-based or formally experimented, but they do come from my own experiences and personal views on this particular topic. It’s at your own discretion to follow or not to follow. Since this is a female author, my points of views are more on the female side although to some degree it also works with males.

The greatest inspiration to write this topic comes from FACEBOOK.com, where I’ve seen so many heart-breaking status updates from my FB friends. I once posted those incomprehensible unhappy statuses too. Instead of making me feel better, I found that those statuses made me feel worse after I posted them. I have understood a lot about the disadvantages of posting unhappy statuses. They will not receive ‘LIKE’ or be commented much because readers do not like them, and they think that you will not tell them either on FB and don’t know how to comfort you, so they simply don't comment. I do suggest that heart-broken people should post anything that win applause and laugh, or at least a smile, and that can make them happy through comments with friends.

Keep in mind that do not let love rule over you but you yourself should have full control of it. I hope you enjoy reading my article and receive the messages I would like to deliver to you.

Jocelyn (T.L)

2012. 09.15

_______________________________________________________________________

LOVE is multi-faceted, and it depends on how we look at it and position ourselves in a relationship. Any love relationship will surely give the parties two feelings concurrently – happiness and pain. There is no such relationship that one experiences its good and sweet part without having to endure some degree of bitterness and suffering. It depends on how well and positively we treat the relationship so that happiness and joy will overwhelm any unpleasant feelings that might emerge from time to time. We can experience the feeling of being in love in several ways.

When you fall in love with someone, it does not necessarily mean that he/she will love you in return. In such situation, it will result in a single-sided love. As the words suggest, single-sided love is to love from one side while the other side silently or clearly rejects it. I shall divide single-sided love into ‘to love’ and ‘being loved’ single-sidedly. While ‘being loved’ by someone only makes the person feel disturbed and uneasy, ‘to love’ someone is more undesirably and inevitably painful if you don't know how to save yourself.

If you are lucky enough, you love the person who also has the same feeling toward you. This is called ‘mutual love’. Couples who have come into a love relationship generally wish that it can bear fruit as a result, i.e. they can form a family in the future and live happily. Reality is always cruel to most loving couples. After some times, when they just find out that this He or She is not someone whom they expected previously and so break up and find a new one; or when there might be family objection; or when they themselves feel that they are not good enough for his/her partner and so leaves the partner; or many other unsatisfactory factors, the once mutually-loved partners might eventually break up. The love they have built can be so profound for one side or for both sides that they will certainly feel like being cut pieces of flesh from their bodies when they do have to loosen their hand once having firmly held.

How to handle a love relationship when it comes to a situation that we don’t wish for? How should we save ourselves when we come to love someone single-sidedly? How should we treat ourselves after the relationship breaks up?

My theories of how to handle love are simple. 

-         Love is to sacrifice. You should not expect to get something in return when you give it away. It works well with single-sided love. If you do really love him/her, you will wish the person being happy without you or with someone else. To link to this, to avoid unpleasant feelings, you should not expect too much what the person will do for you. The more you expect to receive, the more you will feel disappointed, and then the faster you will break up and dump yourself into the valley of depression. Bear in mind that do not demand from your lovers, let him/her give you what they can and are willing to. Love is not an investment which you always have to weigh between risks and returns.

-         Love is to let go. In a single-sided love, you can choose to wait for the person or to find someone else. You might argue that ‘how I can find someone else when my heart is occupied by him/her?’ Believe me, what you should do is to open up your heart and expose yourself to more outdoor activities with friends and colleagues. You don’t have to try to forget him/her because this attempt will only keep reminding yourself of the person. You don’t have to find a substitute either because you may make a wrong decision. Just let it be and the right person will come up. Remember this, if he/she is yours, is yours.

-         Love is not everything. Everyone enjoys the sweet part of love but can hardly bear with its bitterness. Love failure does not mean end of the world. ‘How can I live without you?’ Yes! Of course, I can! And I can live very happily. A love relationship is just one of the experiences which make up a big jigsaw of your life. You can still see what the picture is despite losing a small piece of the jigsaw. Perhaps you might get a gold piece to replace a wooden one.

To say is easy, but to do is more than difficult. True love is like heaven and is almost a miracle. You might have to tour around the globe and still cannot find one. But when you are destined to get it, you can just turn round and find the person. Do not try to fight for someone who doesn’t love you in return. Force does not end up with happiness. Do not keep your heart closed because of a failure. It’s natural to feel depressed after a break-up or rejection, just cry out without shame. But do not forget to wipe away the tear, clear your mind and stand up again. The beautiful world and the right person are just outside the door and are waiting for you to reach out.

True love is to love unconditionally. – Jocelyn

Cambodian Buddhist Center

Located at about 30 km from Preah Monivong Bridge, Buddha Center is far beyond Kean Svay District in Kandal Province. It covers a huge area where we can see several temples, some of which have been completed and some are in the progress. The whole area tells stories about the birth, death and the holy things Buddha has preached and left for the Buddhists.

Due to time constraint, I didn’t go around every corner of the area but went in shortly in each section. The environment was very pleasing and peaceful because I could see many types of greenery under the blue clear sky, and I could inhale the fresh air while studying the structures of Buddhist temples. I love the tranquility of the area and wished I could stay longer.

According to a laywoman who went to offer help at the Center for its renovation, many laypeople from overseas have bought pieces of land around the Buddha Center to extend it and have donated funds to build temples within the area and to renovate it. The whole development plan might be completed within another year. I believe that once it’s fully renovated, many people will be well-informed of the place and start visiting it.

I was impressed by the natural environment of the area, the big buildings of temples, the sculptures on the wall, the statues of Buddhas, the hard work of the monks who were spending their afternoon to clear the bamboo trees to build a path to the other gate, and the commitment of the laywoman who helps without asking for return but only for good deeds.

One year later I believe that it’ll be fully developed, and I will visit it again.





Travel along National Road #1, Buddha Center is in the red circle.

The whole area of Cambodian Buddha Center is the big square. There are two entrances as we can see at the lower part of the picture. You can see the intersection on the second entrance which is the main entrance of the area.

The main entrance of the Cambodian Buddhist Center.

The Buddha Statue at the intersection.

The first temple we could see after coming from the intersection.

The pond is surrounded by many old bamboo trees. The view is just so magnificent.

The entrance to one of the temples.

In the open field out of one of the temples.

Really don't know what it is called. From distance, it looks just like grapefruit but actually not.

In the open field.

Angkor Wat in the middle of a lotus pond. The best view of all. ^^

One of the big Buddha Statues.

One of the biggest temples being constructed. Within it, there is a big hall being decorated and painted.

Inside the biggest temple. The being-constructed hall.