Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Self-Evaluation


‘I want to be an accountant!’ This is my typical answer when I’m asked about my intention of future career. An accountant is my dream profession since high school. However, I haven’t been really preparing myself for that.

Currently, I’m almost a fourth-year accounting student at RULE, but still I find myself an empty shell, especially when I evaluate my competence compared to the requirements of being an accountant. Various subjects related to accounting and finance have been offered but it seems as if none of them is fully studied. I’m not blaming or dare not to anyone for that because I know the fault is the combination of several factors. The most unforgiveable one is me, myself.

There are devils within me, causing me to ‘fail’ in doing things. Surely, it does not make me fail the exams, but fail to recall and apply what I’ve learnt. I’m confident enough to say that it’s very easy to pass an exam while it’s difficult to apply what I’ve learnt. Shamefully, everyone admires and compliments me that I'm a top or outstanding student, who manages to obtain A’s in almost every subject; but, who can understand what I feel?! While I get an A grade, I would ask myself what I've learnt and find that it is so little and it’s inapplicable.

I always tell myself to study, study and study and learn the underlying concepts of each chapter. I'm actually able to understand it at first, after some periods of time, however, I've unwillingly thrown it miles away. I simply study for the exam!

Someone used to ask me how to concentrate while reading. I would say that neither do I know the method. The willingness to read a book just comes unknowingly. You cannot force it! When it does come, I can read books from the morning till night; when it comes, I can do accounting exercise the whole day allowing no entrance of disturbances. But it doesn’t come very often. There is another devil would appear and prevent it from occurring unless there is a motivation. Most of the time I tell myself that I should not put too much pressure on myself; I should watch TV, play PC games, or simply go to my dreamland to gather energy. Very often, this becomes an excuse which I use to avoid reading books. Adversely, doing those sorts of things even makes me more tired.

The two devils—forgetful and lazy, perhaps there are more, make me a loser in studying even though I appear to be the best in people’s idea. People who know me may not believe what I write here; they would think that I'm just too modest or I have too low opinion of myself. But I know myself.

Change is very necessary or else I'll be continually a loser. But there are so many question marks floating in my mind. How to do that? How can I develop an interest in reading by myself instead of waiting for its presence? How can I always remember what I've learnt? How can I answer every questions raised by the teachers? How can I fully understand what I've learnt?...

You have the answers?

1 comment:

Unknown said...

if you able to drag the opportunity to study and be n outstanding one, you should satisfy yourself. You are really really better than most of people of the world. leng you should learn the feeling of other thousands billions of people on earth who don't have even chance to study. Human lives to overcome the problems, this is the meaning of life. I believe this is only one of the small problem that you are facing today, but you need to be ready to challenge with a bigger one when you are more mature? You are great that you are a clever student in class while many students around you are not! don't you feel that they admire you even me.
let's discuss of your concern! a person that is successful in life education doesn't guarantee for the whole life success.M not trying to disturb your effort in study, but you may learn sth which is the main routs of the matter heoy!. mostly,I noticed that you spent most of time doing personal studies and only shared what you learnt with facebook's friends and only when being asked by teachers. It is not enough to keep what you have learnt to a long term memory. Sharing and practicing would be the best way to help you overcome the problem. Instead of keeping what you have learnt alone, share it as much as you can tov, talking arally is the most effectiveway coz you would find a good challenge to explain what you have lernt by speaking rather than writing. one more thing practice you are really good at accounting subjects but doesn't guarantee that you will be a good accountant, you need to try the theory with the real works. find time for internship or part-time job tov! real work will make you realize sth that you have never known b4.
Ok maybe this is not a really effective solution for you. It is just my Idea only.

Best love!


Vutha Tim